Australians with anxiety and depression reveal what they 'really' mean when they say 'I'm fine' - Daily Mail

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Aussies suffering from anxiety and depression list the nine things they 'really' mean when they say 'I'm fine' - and the signs something is very wrong

• Australians with mental health issues revealed what saying 'I'm fine' really means
• Some say the glib declaration could actually mean they are struggling with life
• It could also be a cry for help or another way of saying 'I'm falling apart'
• The two-word reply is often used by sufferers who are afraid to open up
• This is often because they feel like a burden and fear judgment for their issues

By Alice Murphy For Daily Mail Australia

Published: 06:01 GMT, 4 January 2021 | Updated: 06:43 GMT, 4 January 2021

Australians suffering with anxiety and depression have revealed what they could 'really' mean when they say 'I'm fine' in a heartbreaking discussion on social media.

A post shared in the Facebook mental health support group 'It's okay not to be okay' listed nine alternate meanings behind the generic two-word response, which is often used to deflect attention when someone is struggling.

The glib declaration could actually mean 'I'm falling apart', 'things are really hard' and even indicate suicidal thoughts.

It could also be a cry for help or another way of saying 'I'm scared to open up' for fear of judgment or being a burden to family and friends.

The revelation, which has amassed 661 likes since it was uploaded online early Monday morning, has drawn heartbreaking responses.

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Australians suffering with anxiety and depression have revealed what they 'really' mean when they say 'I'm fine' in a heartbreaking discussion on social media (stock image)

What 'I'm fine' 'really' means when you have mental health issues

1. Things are really hard

2. I'm having suicidal thought

3. I'm struggling

4. I'm falling apart

5. I need help

6. I need someone to talk to

7. I am scared to open up

8. I don't want to be a burden

9. I'm scared to be judged

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'I told someone I was really sad so she avoided talking to me. That's usually what happens when I'm suffering. I give up, so now I just suffer alone,' one woman wrote. 

'It's so hard to open up about things that seem silly to others,' a second agreed.

A third said sometimes it's easier to say 'I'm fine' instead of showing yourself at your most vulnerable.

'When people ask how you are, they don't usually mean it, so it's just easier,' she explained.

Another added: ''I'm fine' is easier than the real explanation no one wants to hear.'

Others said they have found comfort in telling loved ones about their struggles, validating the old adage 'a problem shared is a problem halved'. 

Five signs someone is struggling

1. If someone says they are 'tired' the whole time.

2. If they are going through a difficult life event like divorce or unemployment.

3. If they say they are always 'busy' or express being 'overwhelmed' by things.

4. If they always brush things off or seem emotionally distant.

5. If they are disengaged in conversation, especially on something they are usually passionate about.

Source: TikTok

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'When my friends and I are together we talk about things that are bothering us, it feels good to talk and get honest opinions,' one woman wrote.

A mother urged anyone suffering in silence to express their feelings to someone they trust.

'Please talk and say how you feel. I kept asking my son if he was okay and he would say 'I'm fine' or 'I'm dealing with it' when he wasn't,' she wrote.

'Now all we have is memories. Please, please talk to a relative, friend, doctor. Anyone.' 

If you or anyone you know is experiencing mental health issues, please contact Lifeline on 13 11 14.

Anxiety and depression: The facts 

What causes depression?

Research suggests that continuing difficulties – long-term unemployment, living in an abusive or uncaring relationship, long-term isolation or loneliness, prolonged work stress – are more likely to cause depression than recent life stresses. Personal factors like family history, personality, serious medical illness and drug and alcohol use can also play a part. 

What are the signs and symptoms of depression? 

The signs and symptoms are wide and varied, but can include not going out anymore, not getting things done at work or school, withdrawing from close family and friends, relying on alcohol or sedatives, not doing usual enjoyable activities and inability to concentrate. Other signs include feeling overwhelmed, guilty, irritable, frustrated and lacking in confidence.

What causes anxiety?

Some people who experience anxiety conditions may have a genetic predisposition towards anxiety and these conditions can sometimes run in a family. However, having a parent or close relative experience anxiety or other mental health condition doesn't mean you'll automatically develop anxiety. Research suggests that people with certain personality traits are more likely to have anxiety. For example, children who are perfectionists, easily flustered, timid, inhibited, lack self-esteem or want to control everything, sometimes develop anxiety during childhood, adolescence or as adults. Anxiety conditions may develop because of one or more stressful life events. Common triggers include a change in work, living arrangements, pregnancy or giving birth, family and relationship problems or major emotional shock.

What are the signs and symptoms of anxiety? 

While each anxiety condition has its own unique features, there are some common symptoms including:

Physical: panic attacks, hot and cold flushes, racing heart, tightening of the chest, quick breathing, restlessness, or feeling tense, wound up and edgy.

Psychological: excessive fear, worry, catastrophising, or obsessive thinking.

Behavioural: avoidance of situations that make you feel anxious which can impact on study, work or social life.

Source: Beyond Blue

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